Open Canvas is pretty neat. Here's what I've been doing at 5 in the morning instead of studying for finals:

 

 

 

I will definitely be playing with this in the future.

Man, I need to stop telling stories and making jokes when I talk to my friends. For the last two or three weeks I've been wanting to write something funny and/or witty, but haven't been able to come up with anything decent. Whenever I decide that I have something that I want to write about, or have a joke I'm willing to write an entry around, it's only after I realize that I've just made that joke or related that story to someone else.

Today, for example, I was on amazon.com looking for a mouse and keyboard for my new computer. Enter the Logitech MX3200. Laser mouse, programmable buttons, etcetera, etcetera. Sounds spiffy and whatnot, but check out this "Product Feature":

• AgION antimicrobial technology
  Both the keyboard and mouse incorporate the AgION antimicrobial compound, providing protection to prevent the growth of a broad range of bacteria, mold and mildew.

Sounds ridiculous, right? Who has really had this problem before? Seems ripe for parody. I could mention how crazy it would be if the infection grew sentient and took over your computer. Maybe make a reference to the Matrix or the Terminator. Laughs to be had by all.

Only problem is I already made the same jokes with Ken. So if I did actually wrote about it, he'd be free to come in here and say "Heard it already. You suck. I rule. Vampires blow!*"

When will I learn?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Because "Vampires suck" is such a terrible pun

I'm moving into my new place tomorrow; unfortunately, there is no internet set up in the house. This means I have to call the cable company to come by and set up internet and (possibly) cable TV. In other words, I'll be out of action for the next few days. Also, school won't have started so I'll most likely be at home all day bored to tears.

That's why I'm frantically downloading stuff to help me stay sane while I spend some time in the stone age. Comics, manga, music...surprisingly no porn though. I guess I have enough of it to not be in dire straits about a lack of fresh titties.

 

 

 

 

 

...what?

I don't think that I'm a very good artist. I lack any sort of technical training, my style is far too generic, and I could never cut it at art school. That being said, what the hell is the deal with stick figures? Aside from just being lazy, whose idea was it that a circle with 5 lines coming out of it would be the universally accepted symbol for the human body?

I'm so tired of seeing people draw like shit because they think that, for some reason, drawing a picture with the same technique of a 3 year old makes you look more skilled/less of a fool than drawing a scarecrow looking fucker with spiral macaroni hair. You know who else used to draw stick figures? Cave men. On cave walls. By drawing stick figures, are you saying that you haven't evolved at all from a guy who just clubbed a saber-tooth tiger to death for dinner?

Stick figures seem to be part of a bigger problem concerning the vast majority of people who draw anything at any point of their life: they think that drawing like ass helps them save face in the event that their pictures are ever put under scrutiny. A few weeks ago, I played a game of telephone pictionary with a girl and, when her turn came, instead of drawing anything close to resembling a dog, she drew a stick of dynamite with a nub at the end and the word "BARK" written along the body. It looked like a phallus. I know she knows what a dog looks like: there's a snout on the head, maybe some pointed ears, a tail on the other end, and four paws (maybe two if you're looking at it's profile). Is it really less embarrassing to draw a penis than a poorly drawn image of a dog? Because to me, stick figures carry all the maturity and expertise of a picture of a dick.

Dear beloved readers,

I am watching porno right now as we speak.  It is called "Bikini chain gang."  I highly recommend it.

Regards,

Shark